• Category Archives Did she say that?
  • Depression is Life Consuming

    I fell and broke my left shoulder on the day I was supposed to pick up my mother’s ashes. I also cracked a couple of ribs and really messed up my right knee. I had surgery on October 26th, 2017, and spent several days in bed, my daughter picked the ashes up for me and took them home; I had just inherited a house.

    I could not drive for 12 weeks, and my wonderful husband stepped up to the task. I should have started probate immediately, but have yet to start the process… I am an only child, how hard can it be?

    It is very hard when I do not even want to get out of bed, I don’t want to eat so I have lost weight (which is a good thing), but I don’t take my medicine (it’s too hard), this is bad.

    I always thought I was a strong person, but I have learned that I am vulnerable… I have yet to learn to cope.

    My husband is being incredible! We bought each other a new car for Valentine’s day.

    Meet Xander

    I love my new car! The first thing I wanted to do was drive it to my parents house to show them, but they weren’t there, so we drove home.

    Life is so much easier when I bury my head in the sand…

  • Nightmares

    My dad died, unexpectedly, in October 2016. He had a massive stroke. My mother had been diagnosed with lung cancer in April of 2016 and was given four to six weeks to live. She fooled them all, being the strong woman she was, but passed away in September of 2017. I have had the strangest nightmares…
    My dad is driving our 1969 Chevy Van, with my mother sitting in the passenger seat. I am sitting in the back, like I did as a child when we’d go camping, which we did almost every weekend. I am an only child.

    Getting ready to go camping.

    This time, however, I was an adult, and my current cat, Samantha, was with me. Dad would take a corner, a bit too fast, the side door would open, and Samantha and I would go flying out. Mom and dad never came to look for me, and when I would spot the van in traffic, it would disappear.

    I desperately tried to find them, getting rides from a myriad of kind strangers, from several different ethnic backgrounds, but I could not find them, growing desperate in my search.

    I have now spent several days trying to analyse the dream… What seems obvious is that my beloved parents are sending me a message. They are telling me that it is not my time to join them, and I need to move forward.

    There is also hope in that message; they are telling me that they are still watching over me, and that they love me.

  • Update


    When her husband called me, he said she was convulsing and could not answer him. He called 911 and when the EMT’s got there they said her blood sugar was 20!. Cynthia has late onset type I diabetes, diagnosed about two years ago. Unfortunately, she has no medical insurance. That is another story that I do not want to get into right now.

    I just talked to her, and she is sounding more and more like herself. They plan to admit her into Sutter Roseville so she is waiting for a room. She promised me she would be okay… She promised me!

  • Jaco, Jaco, Jaco…

    Someone sent me a link to this comment.


    This is in response to a post I made of your continuing cyber-harassment and threats to me.


    This becomes insidious when you add this threat to your growing list of threats.


    So, let us get back to your latest response. First, a geography lesson is in order. My city is the capitol of California, and it is on the West coast of the USA.


    Now let us get to my favorite part. Unless you have been living under a rock, you must have heard of cyber-stalking. Cyber-stalking usually starts on social media, as evidenced by your poorly disguised threats above. It does not matter where you live… It’s caller “cyber” for a reason.

    Cyberstalking is the use of the Internet or other electronic means to stalk or harass an individual, a group, or an organization. It may include false accusations, defamation, slander and libel. It may also include monitoring, threats, or gathering information that may be used to threaten, embarrass, humiliate or harass.

    Next, let us address your understanding of the law. Telling you what to do is not an infringement of your rights. Please seek legal advice from a real attorney, and make sure you give them all the facts, not just those you cherry-picked. The deriding statements, threatening comments, questions alluding to the fact that you have looked at my house on Google Earth, coupled with the threat, “We will get to you,” would nullify any delusional claims you think you have. They are, in fact, indicative of a cyberstalker.

    False accusations. Many cyberstalkers try to damage the reputation of their victim and turn other people against them. They post false information about them on websites. They may set up their own websites, blogs or user pages for this purpose. They post allegations about the victim to newsgroups, chat rooms, or other sites that allow public contributions such as Wikipedia or Amazon.com.
    False victimization. The cyberstalker will claim that the victim is harassing him/her.
    The posting of defamatory or derogatory statements. Using web pages and message boards to incite some response or reaction from their victim.
    Harassment, embarrassment and humiliation of the victim

    Now, what part of CEASE AND DESIST are you having such trouble understanding.

  • We are done, Jaco

    I have not looked at your blog, I do not care to. When you began to make empty threats against me, after reading the content of your blog earlier, so many of you comments (including the ones to me), it became obvious that you are not worthy; no matter how hard you pound your chest professing what a man you are. Who are you trying to convince, because it’s not working for me? Pamela deserves so much better…


    There is no terrorist conspiracy; are you over-dramatic or what?

    Terrorism is, in its broadest sense, the use or threatened use of violence (terror) in order to achieve a political, religious, or ideological aim. Although “terrorism” originally referred to acts committed by a government, currently it usually refers to the killing of innocent people for political purposes in such a way as to create a spectacle.

    So Jaco, how many innocent people have we killed? Do you not see how stupid you sound?

    You have negated any claim you had for harassment with your own behavior. The retaliation you have resorted to, the threats, the put downs, the blackmail, your comments, and your blog, have created a hostile environment, making you the biggest bully/harasser. Had you actually consulted with any attorney of worth, you would have been advised that you are doing yourself more harm than good.

    On the advice of my attorney, I now humbly request that you cease and desist your attacks and threats against me and anyone connected to me.

    You are a lucky man, for you have a woman that loves you dearly, with all of her heart. You have a chance to create a beautiful life for yourself if you embrace her love and return it in kind. Look in the mirror and decide what is more important to you, this losing battle you are waging, or your happiness. I sincerely hope that you would prefer love and peace to silly Facebook battles.

    I know that reading this from me will immediately send your walls up, make you suspicious, and probably anger you… I know because my husband is the same way, but I know my husband’s heart is good, and for Pamela’s sake, I want to believe yours is too. I want to believe that you, like my husband, are hot-headed and quick to react, but that is not what you are all about. My husband’s emotions are intense, all of them, and I know how easy it is for others to see the intense reactions as all there is. That would be a mistake.

    Good luck to you, Jaco.

  • Reply to Jaco van Deventer

    As background, I received a note from someone that has been warring with members that belong to a group that I administer. I really had not paid attention to much of the back and forth between the parties, not wanting to get involved. Here is the note, that was posted to Facebook in three parts:


    Here is my response:

    Dear Jaco,

    I have a blog on my webpage also.

    Wolfskin Central is a public group, and any “correspondence” between members is usually done right there, in public. Any correspondence done on private messaging is none of my business, so I do not have access to it, and I do not want to.

    I have no desire to participate in games and I do not react very well to being threatened. I have done nothing to you and you are taking this too far. You are acting like the big bully. Knock it off! I am not impressed. Explain yourself for this comment:


    I took this screenshot from your blog:


    It seems you are two-faced, taking great pleasure in dishing out threats and blackmailing others (read your notes to me above), while threatening to whine to “the authorities” if we do not play your game. How do you even have time for this?

    It is time to put the big boy pants on and act like a man. You are beginning to sound pathetic.

    I am not hiding and easy to find. If you plan a visit to Sacramento, let me know, I can suggest the best hotels and venues for your stay. If you show up at my door with a bunch of thugs to “get me…”