03/07/2016~ Jim is feeling horrible today. They told him the the chemo drugs in this session were stronger. We wondered what that would mean. The session started on Monday, 02/29/2016, and Jim felt great! One of the drugs in his Chemotherapy cocktail makes him feel like he can take on the world. This carried him through the first four days of his “rest period.” between cycles.
Sunday night and Monday were a different story. He spent the whole night and then the day upstairs in bed, making a moaning, whining sound he has created into a repetitive chant… that goes on and on and on… I tried very hard to ignore it and sleep, no such luck. Halfway through the night I almost lost it, but I managed to hold my tongue. By this time, the sound was like nails on a chalk board.
At one point I asked him, “Are you this sick, in this much pain? Do I need to take you to the hospital?”
“No,” he responded. “This just makes me feel better.” I bit my tongue to keep from snapping and rolled back over pretending to try to go to sleep. He was quiet for a while and I think I dozed, only to be waken again. Does anyone remember the original movie “The Fly” with Vincent Price? From the pillow next to mine I hear “Help me, help me, help me…”, chanted with a high pitched whine. I sit up quickly and asked, “What can I do to help?”
“What,” he opened his eyes and looked dazed and confused.
“You are saying ‘help me,’ over and over again. How can I help you?”
“I didn’t know I was doing that…”